I'm a cricket nut. Obsessed with the game. Even more so than football. Yet I don't play.
There's a reason for that.
I used to play from the age of 12. I played all my junior cricket at Betley, before signing for Audlem when I reached 19 and played first team cricket for them until I 'retired' at the grand old age of 25. In my last game - when I was unaware that I was in the middle of mental health issues (which I'll perhaps blog about at a later date) - I had a major panic attack whilst batting. I walked off, 'retiring ill' in that innings, lay down in the changing room and swore to myself I'd never put myself through that again.
I've never played cricket since.
However, since then, I've realised that I do suffer at times with my mental health. I've undergone CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and feel that I've really progressed. With that, over the last 18 months or so I've come to realise that I wouldn't mind playing again. I don't miss spending all of my Saturday stood in a field, but I miss batting. I really miss batting.
Although I don't have the time to give up to play the game at the weekend (or the week really) what I'd really love to do is find somewhere where you can hire a net for an hour and just get a bowling machine set up and maybe do that once a month or so. I want to feel leather on willow, and that indescribable sensation you get when you watch the ball rocket off your back when you barely touched it.
If anyone has any ideas...let me know.
Edit: Just realised this is my 50th post... in cricket terms I should be raising my bat to the crowd.
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